Every couple wants their wedding to feel special and intimate. But what happens when your guest list starts spiraling out of control? Suddenly, you’ve got a venue bursting at the seams, a budget stretched thin, and a lot more faces than you anticipated—many of whom you don’t even know! While you may feel obligated to say yes to everyone bringing a guest, setting boundaries is perfectly okay.
But how do you do that without sounding rude or mean? Saying no plus ones can feel a bit awkward, but don’t sweat it too much. Let’s walk through some helpful ways to handle this delicate situation with grace.
Be Clear on Your Reasoning
First things first: you need to be clear with yourself and your partner about why you’re limiting plus ones. Maybe it’s budget constraints or maybe your venue only holds a certain number of people. Or, you might just want a smaller, more intimate wedding with close friends and family. Whatever the reason, it’s important to have a clear rationale so you can explain it calmly and confidently when the time comes.
For example, if you’re working with a smaller venue, simply saying, “Our venue has a strict capacity, and we’re only able to invite those closest to us” will usually be enough. If your budget is the driving force, you can explain, “We’ve decided to stick with a smaller guest list to ensure we can create the day we’ve envisioned.” It’s all about communicating your decision thoughtfully and making sure people understand where you’re coming from.
Address It Directly in Your Invitations
Once you’ve decided on your guest list policy, the next step is to make sure it’s clearly communicated in your invitations. Instead of leaving things open-ended, address the invitation only to the person or couple invited.
For example, use their full names and leave out “and guest” to prevent any misunderstandings.
Here’s a gentle way to word it:
“We are thrilled to celebrate with you. Due to limited space, we are unable to accommodate additional guests, but we are so excited to have you join us.”
This sets expectations right from the start, letting your guests know that the invitation is just for them and no plus ones are included. Personalizing the invitation can also help soften the message.
Adding a handwritten note or a little extra flair (like a cute sticker or fun RSVP card) can make the guest feel extra special, despite the plus-one restrictions.
Prepare for Questions
Even after being clear in your invitations, it WILL happen, you will still get questions. Some guests might reach out and ask if they can bring someone along, especially if they’re in a newer relationship or feel uncomfortable attending alone. In these cases, it’s important to stand firm but kind in your response. You can say something like:
“We would love to have more people, but we’ve decided to keep our celebration intimate with just close friends and family.”
Keep your explanation short, sweet, and consistent. If you feel comfortable, you could also offer a little reassurance. For example, if a guest is worried about not knowing anyone, you could say, “Don’t worry, we’ll be seating you with [mutual friend], and it’s going to be a really fun table!”
By staying confident in your decision while also acknowledging their concerns, you can reduce any potential awkwardness and make them feel included, even if they’re coming solo.
Use Your Wedding Website to Reinforce the Message
Another helpful way to reinforce your guest list policy is through your wedding website. Do not sleep on your wedding website! This is especially useful if you want to avoid any confusion or last-minute questions.
Adding a FAQ section to your website allows you to communicate things clearly without singling anyone out or making them feel awkward. Here’s how you could phrase it:
“We are keeping our celebration intimate, so we are unable to offer plus ones. Thank you for understanding!”
Or:
“To keep our guest list manageable, we are only able to extend invitations to those listed on the invite. We appreciate your understanding as we work to make this day special!”
The tone here is SO important—you want it to be warm, friendly, and appreciative. You don’t want your guests to feel like they’re being left out; instead, you want them to know they are an important part of your special day.
Consider Exceptions Thoughtfully
While it’s great to have a no-plus-ones policy, there are always exceptions to consider. If a guest is in a long-term relationship or traveling from far away, you might want to allow them to bring a plus one. It’s all about balance—making sure you stay true to your vision while also being mindful of specific situations where a plus one could make sense.
For example, if your best friend is in a serious relationship, it’s probably a good idea to extend the invitation to their partner. Similarly, if someone is coming from out of town and doesn’t know anyone else, offering them the option to bring a guest could help them feel more comfortable.
Just make sure that if you do make exceptions, you’re consistent. If one close friend gets a plus one, it may be harder to justify not giving one to another friend in a similar situation. Think it through ahead of time, so you don’t end up in a tough spot down the line.
5 more polite ways to respond to the “Can I bring a plus one?” question:
“We wish we could invite everyone, but we’re keeping things small to make it really special! Thanks for understanding—we can’t wait to celebrate with you!”
“Our venue has a strict guest limit, and we’re doing our best to stay within it. We’re excited to have you join us and hope you understand!”
“We’ve decided to keep our wedding really intimate with just close friends and family. Thank you for understanding—we’re looking forward to celebrating together!”
“We’d love to have more guests, but we’re keeping things within our budget to make sure the day goes smoothly. I hope you can understand, and we’re really excited to have you there!”
“We’re not able to accommodate plus ones, but don’t worry! We’ll make sure you’re seated with some awesome people, and it’s going to be such a fun day!”
Remember, it’s your day! The people who love and support you will understand, and they’ll be excited to celebrate with you, whether they’re coming with a partner or flying solo. After all, the most important thing is that you’re surrounded by people who care about you—and that’s exactly what will make your wedding day so magical.
Planning a wedding is full of details like this, and it helps to have someone by your side who knows the ins and outs. If you’re looking for expert guidance to make sure your day runs smoothly, we’d love to help! Book a consultation today, and let’s start planning a celebration that’s uniquely you.
Pic Credit: DMV Pix
