We’re engaged… now what???
AHH it happened, you are engaged! Congratulations! But here it comes… the stress of where to even begin with all of this “wedding planning!” Your mind is full of ideas and you want to scroll Pinterest for hours! There are so many things on the to do list, but what is most important and what is the best way to begin?
Don't worry, we are here to help, and we have walked through this journey with many brides. We know it can be overwhelming and very intimidating, so let us break down for you what we think the first few “To Do’s' are - post engagement.
Stop and enjoy the moment
It is easy to get bombarded with questions, ideas and planning, but with all of that comes stress and anxiousness. It seems like the second you get engaged, you have to know exactly what you want, when you want it, and how you want it… but you will thank yourself in the future if you take a few days (or even weeks) to enjoy the present moment of being engaged to your best friend! This is a dreamy and joyful season of life, so do not wish it away. Celebrate the moment and take it all in.
Sit down and talk
In the midst of all the celebrating, go find your fiance. Sit down with them and discuss. Communicate with your partner FIRST, before planning anything. You do not want to be frustrated months down the road because you are not on the same page when it comes to the wedding. Yes, you have a wedding to plan, but more importantly, you have a marriage you will be beginning with your partner. Ask all of the questions each of you can think of and answer honestly. Do you want a large wedding? What are your thoughts about location? What have you envisioned this day to be like? Are there things you know you want? What do you not have an opinion on? It all boils down to what YOU TWO want. It is the day to celebrate the relationship you have and the life you are beginning together.
Decide on a budget
Before you make any decisions or even schedule an engagement shoot with a photographer, you will want to sit down with your fiance (or family) and discuss a budget. Finances can cause extra stress, uncertainty, and frustration, so start there. Figure out who will be contributing financially for the wedding, so you will know this at the start. Come to a conclusion on a SET budget and decide how you are going to keep track. Find a clear way to monitor expenses, so that paying for things and keeping an ongoing budget is doable.
Pick a date/venue
The reason these two things are in the same step is simple. They go together… your ideal wedding month or weekend might not be available at the place you desire. Our advice is to narrow down a wedding season or month that you desire to get married in… then search for venues with openings (starting at your top venue choice) in that time frame. Popular venues are often booked sooner than people may realize, so you will want to work on this step soon after getting engaged. There may come a point where you have to compromise on a date to get your dream venue or vice versa… decide what will work best for you in order to make your wedding day vision come true. The biggest thing to consider is what season you’re planning for, as seasons play a large role in what your wedding day will look and feel like.
Some things to consider: seasonal weather (indoor vs outdoor: venues look very different throughout seasons and some venues do not have different weather options), colors (flower colors are seasonal for what is in bloom), day of week (Thursdays and Sundays are cheaper than Friday and Saturdays), and travel (Will close friends and family that are priority on the guestlist able to come or is there another big event going on that weekend?).
Schedule an engagement photoshoot
Engagement pictures are not only enjoyable, but they are so useful when it comes to getting practice with your partner in front of the camera and also capturing those beautiful moments you might want to send out on your ‘Save the Dates.’ Engagement pictures are a great way to get the word out and are also a special memory for you and your partner for years to come. Engagement pictures can be used for: Save the dates, invitations, “Get to know you” with your wedding planner or other vendors, decor for bridal showers/bachelorette parties, etc. You will need to find a professional photographer for your wedding, this could be a good way to secure a well-priced package with a photographer (by including an engagement shoot) and it could also be a way to try out a photographer before deciding on who will capture all of the moments on your wedding day.
Pick a wedding party
Not everyone wants wedding attendants, but if you do… Now is the time to ask them. Think about who has been a part of you and your partner's lives - individually and together in your journey. Think about having an honor attendant - and who you would like that to be. Think about the responsibilities of honor attendees and make sure that whoever you choose can execute them. This is your day, pick who you want standing next to you, getting ready with you, experiencing it all with you. You get to choose! You want this to be a pleasant experience for everyone involved, so make sure you think it through. Bridal parties can make or break the day.
Gather all the wedding inspiration
This is a fun one! Gather all the decor, attire, traditions, experience, floral, and color inspiration. Make a place for you and your partner to add all of your ideas (vision board, document, file, etc.). In order to plan your perfect day, you will want to show others your vision, so that everyone involved can make your vision come to life!
Create a draft of your guestlist
This is where you will be thankful you have already created a set budget. To a great extent, the guestlist is dependent on the budget. The general rule is that you and your partner split the guestlist, each getting half. If you are having your family pay for the wedding (parents, siblings) it is courteous to ask them if there is anyone they would like to invite. Each guest will add to the number of plates for the caterer to prepare, chairs for rentals, cake to be baked and served, end of night favors, etc. Every venue will have a maximum capacity, your guestlist should be under the max capacity. If you fill up the venue to the max capacity, it will be too tight to be enjoyable. Pick a headcount that will fit into your budget. If there is extra room later on and you can afford it, you can add more invitees later.
Tip: Typically 20% of the guest list will decline to RSVP. Another 5% who did RSVP “YES” might not show up. Plan for about 60-75% of your entire guestlist to attend… then watch the RSVPs closely.
Hire a wedding photographer
If your engagement photographer was not who you wanted for your special day, now is the time to get a wedding photographer booked. When deciding on a photographer, think of the aesthetic you would like. Every photographer has a different style and look. You want to get one that matches you and your partner. Yes, you will have the memories of your big day, but besides that… the photos will be what you will look back on for years to come. Get one that you know will capture exactly what you want.
Tip: Get a “wedding” photographer! Just because they are a photographer does not mean that they can photograph weddings well. “Wedding photographers” know what they are doing and are worth the money!
Do I need to hire a coordinator?
This is where we come in! If all of this is overwhelming and makes you anxious just thinking about it… hire Julie Rupert Events! While some planners try to fit your vision into their style, we take our cues from you. We customize our planning style to what you need and handle the details to the exact vision that you ask for. Whether it's full scale planning, partial planning, or just event management, let the JRE team handle the details so you can relax and fully enjoy your incredible day. “Julie was truly a life saver when it came to planning my wedding. She went above and beyond to bring my dream to life, and made sure I had fun with the process.”- Alexandra M
